R.I. is neither a road, nor island. Discuss.

*I should put a disclaimer here -- some photographs posted may be difficult to look at.

Now I really hate to learn anything from any of my classes, but it turns out I did unfortunately pick up a few things throughout the semester. Just recently, we were assigned a final paper based on the study of emotions in animals. Based off one of the required readings taken from the New York Times article, An Elephant Crackup?, Charles Siebert brought to light some strange and terrible things going on in the elephant community in Africa. Apparently, elephants have been going around not only destroying villages and killing without provokation, but have also been raping and killing rhinoceroses.

Colleen and I have both agreed to write to Mr. Colbert and alert him to this growing threat: polar bears are a thing of the past. Make way for elephants, who are normally quite docile and loving creatures. Attempts to understand this new and alarming behavior has led right back to the source: humans. After years of poaching and often ruthless methods of killing for ivory (the poachers, as Siebert explains, often leave the baby elephants tied to the mother to come back for them later), elephants are now seeking their revenge...in a way.

In biological studies, the elephants, as a result of the deterioration of the vital family structure on which the kindly beasts thrive on, have recently been discovered to possess smaller hippocampuses - the part of the brain dealing with so many complex emotions. Elephants, as well as gorillas, are known to have exceedingly developed emotions, the latter being very adept at reading emotional signals far better than humans! It is also known that elephants bury their dead (look up elephant graveyards on Google) and often lag behind the group to watch over the body and even protect it from predators.

Going on to more disturbing things I randomly found today, a python bit off a little more than it could chew. Devouring a full alligator, the python apparently couldn't hold its own and...well...just look at the picture.

On an entirely different note - and I don't mean to once more rag on Heather's beloved country - Canada has a very unusual welcome center...but its not for humans. Check it out: http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/roadside-paranormal4.htm

I apologize for stealing this from Majority of Two (Sorry, Jo!), but it was just too good. Watch and giggle with warmth:

Such A Mess

Rough wake-up this morning. Last night's after party did us in. Early Saturday morning, we headed to an artsy little cafe for breakfast, where I had the greasiest meal I've probably ever had in my life. We had started out a bit late, so we missed most of the films by the other contestants. We decided to check out a mix of experimental, comedy, documentary and drama. While we weren't very impressed by the majority of films, there was one that tickled us, with pun intended. If I can get the video, I'll be sure to post it. Puns will then be understood. Honito wants his hand back.


After being a couple of fat cows and lying out on the grass for an hour, we headed to the big event. I have to say -- Jack Nicolson has a very distinguishable voice, and I've seen many of his films, but nothing could prepare me for this smokin' ace. We were pretty sure he was high when he suddenly blustered "California legalized marijuana....biggest cash crop," going on about how much money can be made off selling weed. Mind you, there was no previous question dealing with anything on the subject of marijuana. I'm assuming he was high as a kite, and we loved it.
We stopped at a classy restaurant after the conference and had some of the most delicious burgers and fries -- Rhode Island seems to have fantastic food, I've been noticing.
We then got dressed in the car like a pair of hobos and immediately began to consume some liquid courage as soon as we made it to the awards banquet. Jess was nervous, so by proxy, I was fighting back waves of anxiety. We made a few failed contacts with some other students at a table, but overall had a great time. While Jess unfortunately did not receive an award, I was very proud of her and we agreed the experience, the road trip itself, was what had counted from the beginning anyhow.
And then back to where we started - the after party. I need say nothing more than the fact that we were both HTMs and had a blast at the same time. While our host, who was apparently too busy being covered in paint (and being a pussy faggot, as I drunkenly exclaimed in front of the bar last night) to let us crash at his place, Charlotte once again was kind enough to let us stay on the couches for the night.
Like so many of our other trips, this one was worth the money spent (I feel that I'll soon be negotiating with PNC) and the time taken off from school, work and other responsibilities. Like Hawksley sings, "You can make a lot of money, but you'll never make time." I could've been sitting at home this weekend, reading and finishing my projects for class and working at my commons desk job for a decent pay -- but experiences like this are best experienced now, at a young age. I have plenty of time to work later in life, and then who knows when I'll find the time to pull myself away and get out and about? My philosophy is: Make money later, use the time you have now before it's gone completely.

On the road to Rhode Island

You could still see the moon high in the clouds this morning as we set out for our seven-hour trip to Rhode Island. Collectively running on one hour of sleep (with me getting the one hour of sleep) Jess and I hit the road at 5:00 am and arrived in the city of Providence, RI early in the afternoon. At first feel, the city had a peculiar parallel to Ashevilles, hippies abound. We met some other students at the registration/social event later in the afternoon after fruitless searches for free wifi services and parking spaces. If you ever come to Providence, be aware: Nothing is free here. (Including mall parking lots!) New England bastards. Gotta love 'em.
We wasted a couple of hours at the mall and wandered up to the cinema to see our free preview of the movie, Star Trek. I have no words to sum up the experience, but the movie played in a large IMAX theatre, and...well, I'll leave the rest for others to figure out on their own. Amazing.
Exhausted, we managed to find our faux couch-surfing host who graciously decided to put us up at the last minute when we told her our previous plans had been foiled. Charlotte gave us the keys, provided us with WiFi and the comfort of warm blankets and a new episode of 30 Rock as well as her two large couches to pass out on.
As of right now, Jess has finally collapsed - in fact, that girl might've just died. Tomorrow's a big day, Jack Nicholson and other funsies, so time to shut down.

Jacky Jormp-Jormp

A lot has happened since I've last written in this infernal blog - I was named Joseph Stalin on a Facebook quiz, Colleen told me a few bad things about cake, and I've taken up some former activities that I lost track of over some time. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed the soft, glossy white and black keys of that Steinway in the basement of the Music Building, and I hope it hasn't forgotten my sensuous touch. But before I become too mawkish, or Churchillian, if you will, I have to admit: I have a lot to catch up on. My poor violin is sitting all on its lonesome in the corner, waiting to be tuned and then inevitably fixed when I tighten the E string far too much. I wonder if I even remember how to play...or even knew how to play for that matter.

More importantly, promising things are in store for the near future. While everything else might've gone to pot, Jess and I will once again embark on another trip, this time to the small state of Rhode Island. Recently, Jess was nominated for one of her films and was invited to an event where she could possibly when an award. Sweet stuff, but aside from the possibility of a prize, which I will undoubtedly try to take claim for, the speaker is none other than Jack Nicholson. How's that to lift the damper on your week? Well, mine, but still, I'm psyched. Time to prepare some questions, which I've listed below:

"Mr. Nicholson, I would like to have sex with you."

"Jack, (assuming the first question has broken the ice a little), I can't help but notice you have the most insane eyebrows, and my 6-year-old cousin is terrified of you. I think that's hilarious."

"Jack, what're you doing after the show?"

"Jackie Boy, (assuming I haven't been thrown out yet) I saw that movie, The Departed and the Batman one where you're the joker. They were awesome."

"I have a screenplay for you to read, but I'm terrified to hand it to you because I think your hands are made of rubber and your gigantic receding hairline is threatening to me. What's your e-mail?"

The questions certainly need some work, but I've called Mr. Nicholson to ask some pre-questions so it's not too awkward during the banquet - I don't want everyone else to be jealous of our personal relationship. Sure, he hasn't called me back, but hopefully he'll get to one of the 10 voice mails I left him. Just hope he doesn't listen to the last one - I got a little upset when he didn't pick up and threatened to maim his wife.

On the other hand, while this week has improved by this promising event, my man Obama isn't cutting it with me lately like he should be. I have expectations, Mr. O., and one of them is not pouting and refusing to join the Geneva UN conference to address the issue of racism. I mean, I don't want to be the first to say it, B, but uh...have you looked in the mirror lately? Here, in fact, I'll post a picture for you:

Oh God! No! No! I have no idea where this came from, but that is just not the right color tie for you. In all seriousness, though, it's been quite a victory for the oppressed or once-oppressed everywhere to have elected the 44th a black president. Now, yes, we remember what happened at the last conference - pie throwing between the Israelis and the Palestinians and a nasty temper tantrum leading to a storm out by our big neighbor, Canada. Hell, I'm surprised they even went. (Sorry, low blow, Heather - I love Canada!*) But are these really legitimate reasons for not attending this year? I believe now it is more important than ever to join in on these talks - yes, in a way, to maintain the role of the United States in the global struggle for domination - but more so because it's the right thing to do. Spike Lee will tell you that. And boy, do I hate Spike Lee. I don't know though, B: I'm just a little more than upset with you. Send in Michelle. She's a tiger and she will rip through the curtain of hate and racism with her ferocious foreign policy-like claws.

*I do not love Canada

This last thing, I have no words for. Just watch:

Wonderful juxtaposition

(Source: rfi.fr)

Time to share new music! If you're on a french kick like me, you might like these artists:

Olivia Ruiz (La femme chocolat, Je traine des pieds)

Emily Loizeau (L'autre bout du monde, Voilà Pourquoi)

Jeanne Cherhal (Ma vie en l'air, Voila)

Coeur de Pirate (Comme des enfants)

Other music:

The Bird and the Bee (Preparedness, Again and Again)

Hot Chip (One Pure Thought, Over and Over)

I finally watched Saving Private Ryan. How I didn't see it when it came out, I'm unsure, but bravo, Spielberg. Tear jerker.

Also, I had the chance to watch Defiance, with Daniel Craig. Music was a little off in some of the scenes, mood-wise, but otherwise a film worth seeing. Also a tearjerker.